Ah Beng Jokes - older

> Ah Beng jokes ... old ones ... but I'm sure will
> still bring on a smile ...
>
> AH BENG the Crazy Singaporean.
>
> Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
> Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
> Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
> Salesgirl : "Yes !"
> Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please "
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a
> job. He supplied the information for the columns on
> Name, Age, Address etc.
> Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he
> is not sure of the question.
> After much thought, he writes " Yes "
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
> Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
> Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
> Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things
> cold"
> Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"
>
> The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermos
> flask
> Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
> Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
> Boss : "What does it do ?"
> Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things
> cold"
> Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
> Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice
> cream"
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng
> always compares it with the original for spelling
> mistakes.
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng always smiles during lightning storms
> because he thinks his picture is being taken.
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
> Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the
> phone.
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and
> was using it.
> When he encountered some problems. He decide to use
> the 'Help' command after some tries.
> Soon after, he became very irritated and called the
> computer retailer for support.
> Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but
> it's been over half an hour and still nobody come
> and
> help me Lah ?!"
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.
> The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears
> and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the
> phone
> ring, lah - but instead of picking up the phone, I
> accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my
> ear, lah"
>
> "Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But
> ... what happened to the other ear ?"
> Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back,
> lah !!!!"
>
> ------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
> Ah Beng: "Could you tell me the time difference
> between Taipei and Las Vegas?"
> Operator: "Just a minute..."
> Ah Beng : "Thank you lah" and puts down the phone.
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been
> working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly
> shows
> off the finished puzzle to a friend.
>
> "It took me only 5 months to do it", Ah Beng brags.
> "Five months? That's too long", the friend exclaims.
>
> "You are a fool" Ah Beng replies, "See this on the
> box, it is written "For 4-7 Years".
>
> -------? ? ? ? ? ?-------
>
> At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left
> tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE"
> and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
> The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU,
> SIR ?"
> Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"